There are a lot of big movie remakes being released lately, including The Invasion with Nicole Kidman, and later this week, Rob Zombie’s take on the classic horror flick Halloween. This had me wondering, why do they always seem to remake good movies? These films were usually great to begin with, and any attempt to update it seems to fall short of the originals. Why not try and improve on an idea that wasn’t done right the first time? Maybe with a new cast, writing team, and a director with a clear vision, an otherwise inane concept could turn into an amazing piece of work. That’s why I decided to construct a list of 10 movies that should be remade, that weren’t the greatest to begin with. Feel free to comment on ones you would add to the list.
10. They Live!:
This one is probably unfair for this list because the original was actually pretty cool. I guess I just want to see it done again now... With Rowdy Roddy Piper in it again.
9. Van Helsing:
This should have been a no-brainer. A monster bounty hunter movie starring Hugh Jackman should have been the coolest movie ever. Anyone who saw it knows this isn’t what was presented. Instead we get a watered-down, CG disaster. Not to mention this version of Dracula was one of the worst ever. Bring in Gary Oldman to revisit his version of the classic vampire and you’ll be at least close to a real movie.
8. Spaced Invaders:
How about instead of 14 versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, we give this little gem a second chance? I liked this movie as a kid and I think I’d like to watch some cute little aliens running around causing trouble again.
7. A Sound of Thunder:
I didn’t think a movie in this day and age could have this bad of CGI, but a Sound of Thunder managed to wow me in how horrible it was. It made Boa vs. Python look like Return of the King. That said, the main idea from the classic Ray Bradbury story could be a new Sci-Fi classic given a little effort.
6. Orgazmo:
Put simply, this movie really wasn’t that funny. It could have been. The idea of a superhero porn star is ripe with possibilities and should have no difficulty being hilarious. I like Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and South Park has always been a favorite of mine, but this didn’t deliver the laughs. I’ll even give the two another chance to get it right, after that, the idea can officially die a quick death.
5. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace:
Even though I enjoyed the latest prequel somewhat, there’s no denying that the first prequel was pretty crappy. I’m not even talking Jar-Jar, it was bad even without him. I know it may be blasphemy, but I’d like to see a reboot of Star Wars with a new director and creative team. I think George Lucas has had free reign of this series for too long, and he needs to give up control to someone who can give it a fresh outlook. Maybe that way, fans could get what they were hoping for the first time around.
4. Die Another Day:
Now that we’ve seen Daniel Craig hardcore as 007, it would be awesome to see him in a remake of this movie. Why this particular disappointing entry into the Bond Series, you might ask? Really, not for any other reason than to watch Daniel Craig sneak up behind Halle Berry as she’s swimming in the ocean and drown her in the salty abyss. The idea of that puts a big smile on my face.
3. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen:
Sorry, but this movie sucked horribly. The special effects were weak, and Sean Connery in particular just annoyed the hell out of me. Given the strong source material in Alan Moore’s graphic novel, this movie could be great. Recast and give it to someone with some talent to direct, and you’ve got yourself a winner.
2. Ravenous:
No one else I know has seen this one, so it makes it a prime candidate for the remake treatment. It’s basically a movie about a group of men that resort to cannibalism in the wilderness and become vampire-like in the process. Sounds cool huh? It almost was, except it wasn’t. It even had Guy Pearce (Memento) and Robert Carlyle (Trainspotting), who I happen to like. The remake could even use these two again if needed. Just get rid of David Arquette and try it again.
1. Howard The Duck:
Why hasn’t this idea been resurrected? I actually kinda liked this movie and think there’s some potential in this one. Apparently George Lucas is embarrassed by this 80’s flop, and I guess I understand. But honestly now, who doesn’t want to see a midget in a duck suit again?